Published: April 11, 2008 11:00 am            

Oklahoma man gets a real ball and chain

Phil Riddle

editor@weatherforddemocrat.com

An Oklahoma man got a 10-year sentence and a lifetime commitment during one trip to the courthouse.

Forrest Lynn Foreman, 49, was sentenced to a decade in the slammer for making meth, but before he began serving his time, he wanted to marry his girl, 30-year-old Amie Gayleene Lang.

Talk about taking on a ball and chain.

What a glorious way to begin a lifetime of matrimonial bliss.

Think about it. It might work.

She'll always know where he is. He won't be messing around with other women. He won't be nagged by his wife for coming in late or spending the rent money at the track.

In the Bryan County Courthouse in Durant, the two pledged their undying love before Calera Police Chief Don Hyde, Jr., who is also a preacher.

"It was an emotional moment because the two had professed to love each other and do what was right and unite as a family," Hyde told the Associated Press. "It was a situation, that, from talking to the two of them, he was going away for a long time and they wanted to become legal as a couple."

Do what was right? Legal?

You mean after getting arrested and convicted for cooking meth, he decided to do what was right and legal? It was OK for him to sell poison, but it just wouldn't do to leave his girl single while he was clanging his tin cup against the bars. That would be wrong.

Hyde told reporters the service was beautiful and the couple cried.

It must have been a lovely wedding. I can see the write-up on the society page.

"The bride wore a purple and green jogging suit with a 4-carat cubic zirconium ring and matching belly button charm. The groom was nattily dressed in orange with stainless steel bracelets and matching ankle shackles.

And heck yes, they cried.

Foreman cried because he was going to the big house for 10 years. The newly minted Mrs. Foreman cried because she just tied the knot of holy matrimony with a convicted criminal whom she would not see until they were celebrating their 10th anniversary.

What's the matter Amie Gayleene (you just know she uses both names) was the freaky little bearded guy that sleeps at the bus station unavailable?

It's a shame they couldn't combine the sentencing with the exchanging of vows.

The judge sternly asks,"Will the defendant please rise?" As the bailiffs/ushers quietly ask each of the jumpsuit-clad onlookers, "Bride or defendant?"

"How do you plead?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to love, honor and work in the prison laundry, 'til the State of Oklahoma tells you otherwise?"

"Guilty."

"You may now kiss the bride."

Must have been a heck of a honeymoon.

        

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