Published: April 18, 2008 04:11 pm            

Training for an easy job

Phil Riddle

editor@weatherforddemocrat.com

I heard a comic say once his son wanted to be a garbage collector because they only had to work one day a week.

I know that's not true, but I may have found a job that takes very little effort.

On a recent trip to Dallas I decided to avoid the hellish traffic conditions to the east and take a train from Fort Worth to the seminar I was attending.

While wending my way to my destination, I watched the scenery passing by out the window.

I kept noticing construction projects of different scopes - road work, maintenance work being done on the rail right-of-way, and building construction - all around the tracks.

There were road graders, dozers, front-end loaders, earth movers and trucks of every ilk. But, one thing all the projects had in common was the guy who watched the train go by.

It must be a union job. Similar, I guess to the guy who watches cars go by. (If he happens to be working on the stretch of !-20 west over the Brazos River, he has long-term job security.)

But I digress.

At every rail intersection, a similar guy stood. They were all wearing work clothes, usually jeans and a khaki shirt, topped by an orange safety vest and a hard hat.

A few of them, probably senior guys who watch the train go by, had signs that said "Slow."

I never did figure out if that was direction to traffic near the tracks or a comment on the holder of the sign.

I don't know what guys who watch trains go by get paid, but it has to be a pretty sweet gig.

First, they get to wear the orange vest and hard hat, which lets the train passengers know their train is being watched. Plus, judging from the oompa-loompa-like physical build of each of the guys, I guess they dine frequently at all-you-can eat establishments during their lunch hours.

Guys who watch trains go by apparently are not aware lunch entrees don't necessarily have to be deep fried or placed in a head-high mound on their plates.

After noticing the easy pace of guys who watch trains go by, I began thinking of other jobs that might be as easy.

Like, speech writers for President Bush. Only single syllable words are required. If you wanted to have a little fun on the job, make a word up, he won't know.

How about the ethics advisor for the Clinton campaign? Probably the same one they used when Bill was prez. His phone has been disconnected and neither he nor the Clintons are even aware it's off.

Both are easy jobs, but guys who watch trains go by at least get to be outside.

        

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