The brown-headed cowbird syndrome

April 18, 2008 04:12 pm

— One of my daily routines down on the pore farm is to kick back each evening after “getting the work done up” and relax with a cold glass of my favorite beverage. I know that Geneva Young, my old high school English teacher, would have normally admonished me mightily for using such grammar, but the term is an old and established cliche among Texas farm folks.
“Getting the work done up” denotes completing all the tasks that have to be done each day after finishing up a hard day in the field driving a tractor or staring all day at the political end of a horse or mule.
Doing these chores might entail milking the cow, feeding the chickens and gathering the eggs, haying the cows or horses, mixing some barley chops with water to give to the hogs, doctoring a calf with the pinkeye, or removing a sitting hen from her nest and putting her in a coop to allow her to get her mothering instincts in line. All these and many others were an integral part of traditional farm life.
Although my list of daily chores is a bit more limited these days, I still take care of whatever business is needed before I retire to my easy chair on the back porch. Watching my cattle graze in the pasture and fields between my house and the river in the late evening is a pleasant sight and a wonderful way to relax.
I also have a bird feeder in the back yard, and I enjoy watching the redbirds, field sparrows, blue jays and others fuss and fight over the grain. Recent interlopers to this gathering include significant numbers of brown-headed cowbirds.
I am not amused.
For those of you unfamiliar with these disgusting little creatures, allow me to pontificate.
The brown-headed cowbird is a member of the blackbird family and is somewhat drab in appearance, and like me, does not sing worth a hoot. They contribute almost nothing positive to the environment, but they have one particularly unique characteristic that sets them apart from all others across North America — they are brood parasites.
By this I mean the female cowbird makes no nest of her own. She lays eggs in the nests of other songbirds that generally raise the cowbird chicks with their own. The female cowbird may even destroy the existing eggs in the nest with resultant declines in songbird populations in areas of greater cowbird densities.
The cowbirds developed this behavioral trait as they followed the herds of buffalo in earliest times where they would feed around the massive animals on grains and insects that were stirred up. As the bison herds would migrate over vast distances, the birds relied on other birds to raise their young so they could travel unencumbered with the large beasts.
As I sit on my back porch watching these beggars of the bird world, I keep my trusty .22 rifle close at hand where I assist in keeping these parasites in check.
The Texas Parks & Wildlife Department recommends reduction of cowbird numbers by any means, and though not as effective as their trapping programs, I do my part. According to a TP&WD Web site, studies have shown for each female cowbird eliminated, 35 additional songbirds will survive.
While watching and waiting as an armed defender of beautiful songbirds, I have begun to reflect on how a fairly large number of Americans have begun to emulate cowbird behavior. I am almost certain I have identified what is a new and devastating behavioral syndrome that is sweeping our nation, especially in large urban inner cities.
When we assign human traits to animals, we refer to it as anthropomorphism, but I’m not sure what you call it when you assign cowbird behavior to humans. Stupidity?
Whatever it’s called, we have quite a few these days that seem to fit the description. They contribute nothing positive toward society, sit around and eat the food that should be reserved for the more productive, pursue a non-monogamous lifestyle, reproduce without restriction, and force others to raise their offspring so another generation of parasites can be enabled.
Maybe I’m just out of touch with the politically correct approach to dealing with this national sickness. Then again, maybe I’m not.
u
Larry M. Jones is a retired Navy Commander and aviator who raises cattle and hay in the Brock/Lazy Bend part of Parker County. Comments may be directed to nowhearthis @pwhome.com. Columns submitted to The Weatherford Democrat by guest writers reflect the opinions of the writer and in no way reflect the beliefs or opinions of The Weatherford Democrat.