Published: June 16, 2009 02:30 pm      

Heard any good conspiracy theories lately?

Steve Boggs, Democrat Publisher

Conspiracy theories are a part of what makes America great. Our imagination tends to run wild from time to time, and it’s a lot of fun to hatch wild plots about bad guys bent on hiding the truth from the masses.

The world’s most famous conspiracy theory concerned the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in Dallas in November 1963. The theory is the president was the victim of a wide-ranging conspiracy that involved the mob, Cuba, separatist groups and even our own government.

Second on any list has to be the conspiracy to hide the fact we are not alone. Aliens from other planets have been living among us since they crash-landed here in the 1940s in New Mexico. The references in modern culture to such a conspiracy are too numerous to mention.

Why are we so quick to believe in conspiracy theories, and so cynical about simple, easy truths that stare us in the face from day to day? Is it because they are more fun? Have we become so distrustful of all things government that we believe nothing it tells us? I prefer the former because we, as human beings, have been blessed with vivid imaginations. We, as Americans, seem to have some time on our hands, too. That is the perfect breeding ground for conspiracy theories.

We have become so ingrained in the conspiracy culture that millions of people believe in the basic tenants of the Da Vinci Code. They simply accept it as truth because they read it in a book and saw the movie. Tom Hanks wouldn’t lie, would he? Note: It’s fiction and was never supposed to be anything but.

These days the conspiracies are more elaborate than ever. We have stretched the bounds of truth ... the level of deceit. We’re not shocked by much of anything anymore, so a good conspiracy theory is much more difficult to perpetuate. The line between gossip and conspiracy disappeared a long time ago, so it’s tough to tell the difference.

My personal conspiracy theory involves the price of gasoline. It has been manipulated by the Seven Sisters since 1969. They raise it when they can and lower it when they have to. There is no such thing as supply and demand when it comes to the price at the pump, and anyone who thinks so is the petroleum equivalent of the Manchurian candidate. By the way, the Seven Sisters are not oil companies. I could tell you who they are, but it’s better that you don’t know.

OK, it’s not very far-fetched, and certainly not as sexy as aliens. But like I said, it’s tough to find something these days that is.

Perhaps we have turned a corner here. Maybe truth really is stranger than fiction. Who would believe in the long run, the war in Iraq was really necessary? Who can accept the economic stimulus money will actually stimulate the economy? Does anyone really believe David Letterman is funny? Will Highway 121 really alleviate traffic congestion in the Metroplex?

In reality, the truth really is stranger than fiction. Why? It’s not because the truth is so strange, or rare, it’s because we’ve adopted the absurdity of fiction as an everyday compass in our lives.

Now, about our new president …